The Do’s And The Dont’s of Online Dating

The Do’s And The Dont’s of Online Dating

I can only offer these comments based on what I see; which is only profiles of women.

I have not been on for years like some people, just a short few months; these are simply my observations and opinions. You’re welcome to agree or disagree.

I don’t see the profiles of men; so I have no idea what goes on for women looking at the profiles of men.

For the women who have profiles on online dating sites…here are some Do’s and Don’ts.

Don’t pose with sedated Tigers, Elephants and any other Wild Animals.

It makes you look stupid, selfish, uneducated and a total asshole.

DO read the entire profile the man posts. (Assuming the guy has a profile to read) Some of us are more than just photographs.

Don’t post photos of you with your children.

DO tell people you are a parent in your profile.

Your children should NEVER have their photos posted on an online dating site…EVER…

Don’t post shots of you naked or in lingerie. That will only attract 1 type of male, the kind that is looking for an easy lay. Posting photos like that make you look desperate, and it also indicates you have esteem issues. No one with esteem issues will post those photos on an online dating site.

DO post photos that show you in your best light.  Ones that make you look like you’re just like everyone else.

Don’t post photos where you look like a thug, a criminal, a serial killer etc

Do post photos of you with your cats or dogs, horses etc, if you have them. I love animals.

Don’t post photos of group shots and NOT identify who you are.

Do write an informative profile.  A profile should be more than photographs. If you’re looking for someone in your life; give people a reason as to why they should message you. Do you want someone messaging you because of your looks, or the words you have written.

Don’t LIE about your age. There is ZERO reason you can give for lying. NONE. If you can’t be honest about your age, it tells me you have no issues with being dishonest.

Do write a profile that is honest. It doesn’t have to be a 10,000 words, just has to be truthful.

Don’t post fake photos. It’s not nice to post photos of people who are not you. If I am going to meet you, you better look like your photos (within reason)

Do post photos that are actually of you. Nothing more can be explained on this one.

Don’t be married. I believe in Marriage. You should not be on an online dating site for any reason if you’re married or living with your Boyfriend.

Do be available to meet at some point if there is a connection. Do be single.  It is pretty easy to understand this concept.

I am a man, looking for a long term relationship. Do be a woman.

Don’t be a male, pretending to be a woman, so you can rob someone or worse.

DO be of Legal Age. Again…this is common sense.

Don’t be a minor. Again…common sense, laws, etc.

These things should be common sense, but I’ve discovered that common sense is lacking online, on these online dating sites.

If you have any other Do’s AND Dont’s – I’d love to hear them….

I’m hoping to find someone who realizes that my Do’s and Dont’s make a lot of sense, haha, but if she’s a sports fan, animal lover she’s already ahead of everyone else.

Online Dating

Online Dating…..

Two words that can for some people be a positive thing or a negative thing.

This won’t be a post where I bash people..

These are simply my thoughts, and isn’t that what blogging is REALLY supposed to be?

I’m not getting paid to tell you how I feel or what I think.

There are countless websites/apps out there that offer people the chance to meet up,

Tinder, Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid, eHarmony, Match.Com, Craigslist and likely I’m probably missing a few thousand more, although…people do use Twitter and Facebook as a way to meet.

The purpose of what I am writing is not to bash people who use these sites to hook up for casual sex, or commit adultery.

Those are your choices, no matter how much I strongly detest those poor choices.

The purpose of what I write is just to offer my thoughts.

You can agree or disagree, you can even leave comments.

I know so many people that have met online, be it twitter, facebook, Tinder, Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid, eHarmony, Match.Com, Craigslist.

In fact, the people that I refer to are all in serious relationships now, be as it BF/GF or husband and wife.

To those friends of mine, I applaud you.

When you are an old fashioned guy, it’s hard to switch what you’ve always known or done to a completely different path.

I never was the guy who wanted to meet “the one” in a bar…when alcohol is involved… I just don’t trust it.

Conversely, I always believed that getting involved with those you work with, not the smartest of ideas.

I don’t go to church as often as I should, Sorry Casey 🙂

So, where does a good person meet someone they can maybe build something amazing with…

Hence, the world of Online Dating

As I mentioned earlier, there are a plethora of ways to “get to know” people online.

The problem though is, so many of those people who you “might” connect with, they are 100% fake.

I know this, because since I’ve been in Ontario, I’ve met about 1000 people.

When I say about 1000 people, I’m not talking about in a dating/romantic capacity.

I’m talking about meeting people at sporting events, tweetups, networking functions etc.

The startling reality is, the majority are fake.

If you are a person with common sense and decency, do you really want a relationship with someone who is one way online…but the polar opposite offline.

I know that scenario doesn’t work for me.

There is this couple I know, they’re adorable, the guy Andrew has been my friend ever since I came to Ontario, and he met his love of his life on Tinder, 1 year later, they’re still going strong.

His GF has been pushing me to get myself “out there” on an online dating manner.

She’s probably right, Her thoughts are I’m smart, not hard on the eyes, and have a lot of great qualities.

I think she’s crazy, but a lot of my female friends tend to echo her sentiments, so who knows, maybe they’re right.

I’ve thought to myself, on a daily basis…it’s time that I find myself someone, that I can grow old with.

I’ve never been the serial dater, dating is not life a buffet to me… I don’t need 50 different flavors that are ok…just 1 that is awesome.

Monogamous long term relationships are what I’ve always known.

I’m not cool enough to say I’ve had a one night stand, or I’ve done a threesome, so if that means my man card is going to be revoked..so be it.

I’ve been in Ontario since 2010….and I’ve not seriously dated anyone since I’ve been here..

I always told most people I moved here, because I’m obsessed with Toronto sports teams.

There is a ring of truth in that statement. I am obsessed with my terrible, dysfunctional Toronto sports teams.

Having said that, people that are super close to me, they know why I moved to Ontario..

A long time ago, in what seems like another lifetime..I was in love…for many, many years I was blessed to know love.

BUT, life had other plans for me, and she passed away.

The last person I was in love with died. It is something that I wish no one would have to experience.

However, I know it happens on most likely a daily basis to someone in the world.

I knew I couldn’t deal with that kind of pain and emotional carnage..so I came here..where no one knows me..

I needed to deal with my pain and suffering on my own terms,

I also knew, my friends would at some point want me to move on, and they’d start trying to set me up with someone they would think would be great for me.

I didn’t want that, so I left…

It took a long long time to heal..and while I was healing, all my friends around me were living life, being in love, getting married, you know, being happy.

Fast forward to present day,

I’ve been ready to be in a serious relationship for some time now..

I made my first dip in the water not long ago..

I responded to someone who I thought I’d be compatible with,

We had quite a few conversations, even had the obligatory phone calls 🙂

I guess this is where I talk about the first date?

I talked to some people, mostly women,

I asked their advice on the do’s and don’ts of “The First Date”

I was pretty psyched, I knew the person was beautiful and intelligent & appeared to be quite funny as well.

I made reservations at a place that a friend suggested…

Intimate setting, but not over the top, small, but not miniscule, but not large enough that onversation would be difficult.

This is basically how the evening went, we talked for close to 3 hours, had 3 glasses of delicious red wine, she laughed when I said funny things, she complimented me on how I looked, loved my beard, said my hair was perfect, and that my photos really don’t do me justice.

The conversations were not one sided, I asked lots of questions about her..I kept religion and politics out of the conversation haha. I’d say she talked about as much as I did. She told me she’d love to be my date for my Birthday (which is coming up on the 9th) and also told me, Valentine’s Day, I’d be her date.

She talked about things that she wanted, I did the same, we were clearly wanting the same things, I felt like a second date is definitely coming my way.

I’m thinking on my way home, wow..this is awesome, met a woman who I am compatible with

AND…I met her online, go figure, maybe my friends are onto something with online dating..

Maybe…

I sent her a brief text message,

It said, “Great meeting you, looking forward to seeing you again” and then, I went to sleep.

When I woke up this morning, the light on my phone was flashing.

I picked up the phone, and saw that I had a text from her,

I started to smile,

Until I read her text…

“I’m not really feeling this”

My thought were this…

We talked for close to 3 hours, had 3 glasses of delicious red wine, she laughed when I said funny things, she complimented me on how I looked, loved my beard, said my hair was perfect, and that my photos really don’t do me justice.

The conversations were not one sided, I asked lots of questions about her..I kept religion and politics out of the conversation haha. I’d say she talked about as much as I did. She told me she’d love to be my date for my Birthday (which is coming up on the 9th) and also told me, Valentine’s Day, I’d be her date.

She talked about things that she wanted, I did the same, we were clearly wanting the same things, I felt like a second date is definitely coming my way.

Is this what woman do, when they are “Not Feeling This”

Am I missing something, if you don’t feel the connection, don’t you leave after the first glass of wine?

I am apparently not as smart as I think haha, seriously, I will never profess to being an expert with women.

So, now what…

Do I try another venture into the world of online dating, or do I go back into my own self imposed exile.

I guess you’ll have to keep reading to see what happens.

People say they are happy being single, ok.

There are other people who find life if better, when they’re not single.

No right or wrong answer in my opinion, it’s ok to be single, it’s ok to not be single.

As long as you’re happy..that’s what counts..

You know, Oak trees are strong, majestic, and it takes a force of absolute strength to take down an Oak…

Even though my first foray into online dating didn’t end the way I thought it might..

It’s going to take more than this to knock me down..

Besides,

They say there is someone for everyone…

When I find my “someone”

I’ll be sure to do right by her…

Oaks~